We offered a bottle, various teethers and a hot water bottle; we checked her fingers and toes, checked in her diaper, and took her temperature in several locations; we called Uncle Clay (because...um, I dunno); we even tried letting her watch a few minutes of The Office (TV is usually verboten). Basically we ran around like idiots while waiting for the doctor to call us back. He seemed totally unimpressed with our panic and OK'd some Tylenol for teething (two canines and her fourth bottom tooth--ow). Right now she's lying quietly in her crib. Though I'm sure teething is terrible if you're the one with the sore gums, I hope it's "just" teething. All those people I quizzed while pregnant ("What's the worst thing about parenthood?") were right: The worry. Is. Excruciating.
P.S. Look! She's standing!
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